I'm not really sure if I feel happy or even excited because I'm the kind of person who doesn't appreciate his own birthday (well somehow). But hey, I do appreciate those people around me who greets me "Happy Birthday!" and some even give gifts on my "special" day (riiight!).
Every year, I know it's normal for people to add one year of their lives through their birthdays, but in my case, it somehow gives me a bit of depression because I do think that being a year older means being more responsible in my every action. I can't be a kid anymore (and it breaks my heart!). LOL!
As my birthday approaches, every birthday of mine starts to flashback (like it'll be my last day on earth. LOL!), and I can't believe how time flew so fast. I can't believe that I'm in a state where I have to embrace the world of adults! Being a birthday boy way back, I remember my parents throwing me a small party at home, which I did look forward to. I remember my friends getting all dressed up and visiting my kiddie party, completed with kiddie tables and chairs, balloons, gifts, games, and food of course! Being a kid, I always felt really excited on celebrating my birthday, but as I grow up, I come to a realization that it may not be fun anymore. LOL!
(This was my 2nd birthday. I know I look like a girl,
but believe me, it's me. LOL!)
(This was my 5th birthday. See how big my smile was!--FAKE! LOL!)
The fact that I'll look older. When you're old, people will expect something big, something grand, and something big (again) from you! They will expect you to act your age, to become more mature, even if you don't feel it! And also, you get to develop zits, wrinkles, eye bags, and all those imperfections you acquire as a growing person--PARANOID! (SIGH!)
Oh well, in two days, I'll be a year older. It is inevitable, and I just have to learn to accept it. By the way, don't get me wrong people. I'm not against of being old (it's kind of abnormal and insane, I know!), I'm just being sentimental for the fact that I'm turning 19!!! Sure I'm gonna miss my childhood to teenage days.
After this year, I'll be 20! (YIKES!) It only means that I really am not a kid anymore--that I have to act professional and be more serious. Being in that age range for me, means to struggle hard--get a job, earn lotsa' money, be stable, and start a family?! (GULP! 0_o)
SIGH. Happy Birthday to me! (or is it a happy one?) LOL!
