Loving the Imperfect Side of Me: A New Year's Resolution.

For the past 5 years, I've always believed in the wrong notion of beauty. And for that 5 years, I've been so eager to undergo plastic surgery because I wanted to look perfectly handsome and the people around me can attest to that.

I've always been desiring for a chiseled-like nose, a lean lips, a model-like body, a tall height, a luminous skin, and a Hollywood actor-like smile because mine contradicts the notion of beauty I've believed in. Until I found out (from self-diagnosing myself and doing a little research) that I was suffering from Body Dysmorphic Disorder (or BDD).

BDD is an excessive preoccupation with a real or imagined defect in one's physical appearance. Frequently, the affected person feels ugly or disfigured when all she's worried about is a blemish or a crooked smile. The problem is the negative thinking about a perceived physical defect.

--Manila Bulletin (Aug. 10, 2008)

It's hard to be in this condition because it always gives me depression whenever I see tall and good-looking people. It just makes me want to kill myself for being vertically and aesthetically challenged.

We may not notice it, but it is the nature of people to compare a lot (and to be mean). At first glance, people will judge you of how you look. If you don't pass to their standard of beauty, you won't exist in their world. Or if they think that you are really hideous-looking, they will perceive you as a nightmare in their "so perfect world" despite of how good, intelligent, and kind you are. Life is really harsh, isn't it? Especially for those who are, unfortunately, ugly. Am I right or am I definitely right?

I've had this so called "spotlight effect" ever since I discovered people being so judgemental when it comes to a person's appearance. I've always been so conscious of how I look like--is my hair in place, is my face oily, is my posture okay, do I wear the right clothes, do I look pleasant, and many things. Whenever I'm in school or any public place, I always feel like there could be one of them watching me and judging my appearance, then I'd think "What could she/he be thinking about me?" And eventually, I get paranoid.

Living like that is like making your own life a living hell. Many times I felt so depressed, angry, and frustrated of how I look. Sometimes I even question God--why am I not tall, why am I ugly, and all that. Until I just woke up one day after hearing an inspirational quote from a supermodel turned host, Tyra Banks:

"Perfect is Boring. Human is Beautiful."

Tyra Banks without make-up, yet her beauty emanates from inside.

Those words reverberated not only in my mind, but also in my heart and soul. It is simple, yet meaningful. It made me realize that Hey! I'm no commodity, I'm no mannequin, I'm a human. Tyra definitely inspired me through her words, and her commitment and determination in changing the perspective and the meaning of "Human being Beautiful." I'm definitely supporting such advocacy.

Because of that, I now feel uniquely handsome. I started to be confident of how I look like. I became happier. I became more optimistic and started appreciating the bright-side of this world. And most importantly, I'm now proud to say I'm perfectly imperfect, and I'm definitely a beautiful creation of God--a Human.

I know that many people understands and can relate with my experiences because it is a world-wide phenomenon, and I can definitely attest to that. But come to think of it, it seems that we are trying to live in their world, where we always try to fit in. Why not shift our mindset and let's live in a world of our own? Let's recreate a new notion of beauty, and make our imperfection a perfect one. Let's be proud of what we are and be the real epitome of beauty.

So what if they say that I have a big head, big nose, pouty lips, and short? It what makes me unique. It what makes me a "Carl Ernest Ruiz" of my family and friends.

Now that's my New Year's Resolution--loving the imperfect side of me. And I'm proud to say that I'm changing--changing for the betterment of myself.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

Image got from:

• http://cdn.hellobeautiful.com/files/2009/09/tyra-banks-real-hair.jpg

New Year, New Title, New Me.

It's been so long since I've not updated my blog. I did have a lot of ideas for my blog, yet because of my busy schedule, I tend to forget what I wanted to write.

Well, to start all over again (and since it will be new year 2011 in a couple of days), I decided to eventually change the title of my blog from "Simple Life" to "My Random Life" (and now I think I wanted it to be "The Random Me.")
I don't think "Simple Life" suites me because I'm an idealistic person. I've always wanted to achieve many things--SUCCESS is what I aim for--which I don't think describes the term "simple." And besides, most of my blogs are of random topics.

And if you will notice under the title, it says "Yesterday I dared to struggle. Today I dare to win" by Bernadette Devlin. It is one of my favorite mottoes because it inspires me a lot to be stronger and get a grip to whatever circumstances that I'm facing, the fact that I'm reaching the stage of adulthood.

And just a couple of minutes ago, after changing my title to "My Random Life," I suddenly realize that it's not my life that is random. It is actually me, so after publishing this post, I'll be updating the title of my blog again to "The Random Me." And now I have the perfect and most suitable title for my blog. (See how random my mind could be? LOL!)

So you'll be expecting more random stuffs from me. (^_^)d

And before I forget, I want to greet everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy & Prosperous New Year!!!

Para el mundo hispano, yo también quiero saludar a una Feliz Navidad y un Feliz Año Nuevo!

Image got from:

• http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o129/Ermac5/The%20Melancholy%20of%20Haruhi%20Suzumiya/AHaruhiSuzumiyaChristmas.jpg

My Weight Gain Story

During the whole 3 weeks of our Semester break, I actually tried to improve my physique. And here's my story...

I'm actually an ectomorph, a physical condition where you have this small body frame, and you appear really thin. YEP! That's how my body appears. Before, I'm actually 106-107 lbs in weight, which is pretty disproportional for my height (5'5 1/2") and age (never mind. LOL!). Well bottom line is, I'm underweight and it has been hard for me to gain some weight because I have a really fast metabolism--more on catabolism I would say.

(These are all the body types...)

Being in the industry where you get to become a frontliner in the future (events organizers, cabin crews, tour guides, attendants, etc.) made me want to look even better, more proportional. So I took Nutrimeal Wild Strawberry Protein Shake by USANA (which costs 1,500.00 php each) for 10 days during my vacation, and started to do some minor exercises (I couldn't possibly weight barbells--too heavy for me) like pilates, stretching, crunches, and dumbbell exercises. The said product actually has 2 purpose--either you lose or gain weight, but in my case, it would be for weight gain.

(Nutrimeal Protein Shake by USANA in 4 different flavors)

I took Nutrimeal twice a day (after breakfast and after dinner). I sometimes blend it with melons or bananas with milk, but I drink it plain more often (and it tastes... ugh!--intolerable even if it is strawberry-flavored, especially if it isn't blended with crushed ice). But of course I wanted to gain weight that's why I have to bear with its blandness. I also started eating 5 times a day (more on carbs).

So after 10 days, I gained like 6 or 7 lbs, thus making my weight 112-113 lbs! HURRAY!!! By the way, I was just informed that this was the same product Paris Hilton is using to stay normal (well she looks anorexic to me). LOL!

So there you have it, my weight gain story of success. WHUT?! LOL!

Images got from:

• http://www.formerfatguy.com/sunrider-foods/blog/body-type-chart-ectomorph.gif

• http://www.thecoffeeaddicts.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/ca_nutrimeal.jpg

A Journey to PANAHON...

...Experience Transitions and Live beyond Expectations! (c/o Aldrin Palad)

Who could ever forget this tag line? It has always been reverberating in my head for about 2 or 3 months I think.

(This was our logo for the event c/o Jeni Ramos)

It has been 2 weeks since the much-awaited and most-anticipated event of the year (self proclaimed. LOL!), PANAHON, was held at Le Pavillon (8th of October, 2010).

Organizing an event, especially that everybody's a newbie in the Events Management field, is a tough one. We hardly knew what to do and we're always caught unaware. This was actually the highlight of our first semester as a tourism student in UST.

During the first month of preparation, different positions (from lowest to highest) were distributed among us (and I was actually an organizing committee head--administrative). At first, most of us really didn't know the duties and responsibilities for that certain position, making us all unaware of how to manage and manipulate things. But as time passed by, we eventually discovered for ourselves what we're supposed to be doing.

How did we conceptualize on such event? Well it turned out to be a mere accident. Originally, we have "Broadway," "Premiere Night," "Beauty Pageant," "Theme Park," and even the most unimaginable, "Space Tourism" in our minds, but when someone brought up a topic about a certain climate (I just forgot how it happened, as well as the details), then an idea eventually popped up that why not the 4 seasons? And thus, "PANAHON" was born.

(0ur ad c/o Jeni Ramos)

Before the event itself, we've encountered a lot of challenges which nearly made all of us devastated and unmotivated. And when I say there were a lot, I really mean A LOT.

It's actually funny to remember how the class was really arguing about the design/style/color of our attires (gowns for the girls and barongs for the boys) because of the diversity of our class, resulting to the clashing of ideas. And there even came a point where some cried, quarreled, and grudged because of the... ATTIRE! (LOL!) ...until we all agreed to this one:

(Our attire. Fancy, isn't it? Got this from
Jessica Madridejos)

But that's not the gravest.

The gravest challenge would be the postponement of our event which was supposed to be on the 10th of September, however due to PNoy's (I know. What a nickname, right?! It's so pedestrian! LOL!) declaration that the said date would be a non-working holiday, do we have a choice? I mean it's not like we can protest to have it moved to another day just for the sake of our event, right? Though we actually tried to fight for it, still we were moved to the 8th of October (the last one to have an event for the 1st semester). I couldn't forget that incident because many of us did cry. We all thought that everything was settled (well, partly), and that we'll be the first one (among the many classes) to hold an event, however because of such incident, it's like the end of the world for our class...and we were all left heartbroken. The sleepless nights, the preparation, the procrastination, the skipping of classes, the stress, the preparation of letters (c/o Angel Lantin and me), and our efforts were disregarded in just a blink of an eye.

(During our overnight @ OIC's place with our balots!)

But as the saying goes, "The show must go on."

Our class is known for being resilient in times of hardships. After such incident, brokenhearted and unmotivated we may be, we tried "very very hard!" (c/o Garet Yambao LOL!) to bring the excitement and the spirit of PANAHON back again! We tried to be optimistic--at least we can prepare more and end the event with a bang! Something they would never forget. And 4 days before our event, we were all busy as honeybees again--making our props (markers, delegate pins, etc.), going to divisoria for the boys' shoes and other things, confirming the reservation for our venue (Le Pavillon), as well as the caterer (VS&F), helping out in script-making for the hosts, finalizing the souvenir kits, selling baller bands for our beneficiaries, and many more!

(These were our delegate pins in 4 designs--Autumn,
Summer, Spring, and Winter)

(Souvenir kits. Inside are tumbler, pen, brochures from DOT,
PANAHON pin, and our primer)

(These are our I Support Panahon Baller Bands, available
in 2 color--black and transparent. 30 php each)

What I will also not forget is our ingress. It was so tiring yet so much fun! A night before our event, all of us went to Le Pavillon to set everything up--the tables and chairs, the stage, lights, and LED (if I'm not mistaken, we were actually the first one to use it in events management class. Cool, right?), the exhibit, rehearsals, and the plan. We didn't have our sleep for this one (I think. LOL!) That night was like draining all our energy and our youthfulness. We were all "haggard," dizzy, and insane? And as the dawn arrived, we were running all over the place, updating and finishing what was supposed to be done. It was nerve-wracking! And as the event proper approaches, a lot of problems arose--late hair and make-up artists, souvenir kit malfunction (is it the right term?), unfinished markers, and the class presentation (which we did not push through in the end due to time constrain). Though it turned out well in the end (Thank God!)

Here are some photos of our ingress: (c/o Faye Aranes)

2 hours before the event proper, we all got dressed up, the ladies were receiving makeovers from Modify, double-checking everything, doing some rehearsals, orienting the ushers, checking the bgm's and the videos, mic tests, finalizing the exhibit as well as the souvenir kits...we're 98% ready!

5... 4... 3... 2... 1... PANAHON starts...

Guests are starting to arrive. The promotional videos of our sponsors are now being played. And all of us are all on our posts now. This is it. This is now our time to show everyone all our efforts, the fruit of our labors, and sacrifices.

It's 2pm, yet there were still lots of vacant seats. We're all getting worried (the fact that there are students who weren't allowed by their professors to go to our event due to the final examinations happening two days after our event). But still, we should continue our event no matter what happens. After an hour or two, I couldn't believe it! The event was already full of people! It was really motivating that all of us did our best even though little problems occurred during the event proper like "missing video," which created a dead-air, awkward moment on the first part of the event, guests complaining of their designated seats (due to some shifting), some guests weren't allowed to enter the venue for disobeying the dress code, and some other little things, but because of the creativeness of the program and the jaw-dropping set-up, those "minor problems" were compensated.

What caught the audience's attention was, I think, the performance of Amazing Philippines (the transsexual performers, who performed a nice cultural dance of Korea), the presence of Mr. Dick Gordon, who gave an uplifting and enlightening talk, and the Winter fashion show (c/o of Mitch Desunia), and take note: with snow effect, the dramatic part of the program where ordinary individuals serving UST were given recognition, and of course the brilliance and wit of our hosts, Joyce Navoa, Garet Yambao, and Hope Velasco. Those were really applauded by the audience!

(The Amazing Philippines performing a Korean cultural dance)

(with Mr. Dick Gordon, one of our speakers)

(Our beneficiaries with their heart-warming stories, receiving
recognition in the celebration of UST's 400th year.)

I can attest that the "PANAHON" event, indeed, ended with a BANG! Many people were congratulating us, saying how beautiful and creative our event was. Sir Win even said that our event was AMAZING! (as well as the MTA and Turimasino--events by our fellow batchmates, 3T3 and 3T4). Every hardship and sacrifices were paid-off. The last part of the program was a bit emotional in our part, seeing that the even was a success! Although we didn't have a "prepared" class presentation, we had a very active participation in the end...by simultaneously clapping. LOL! But seriously, it was still moving and a moment to remember. Congratulations everyone! We did a great job!!!

(during our 'class presentation' c/o Mich Mendoza)

Feel the Breeze

Catch the Fall

Witness the Bloom

and Beat the Heat

as class 3T5 brings you:

PANAHON: Experience Transitions and Live Beyond Expectations!

• Images got from my classmates.

• PANAHON facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Panahon-Experience-Transition-Live-Beyond-Expectations/141358979237339
  

Turning NINETEEN.

Yes. I'm turning 19 years old this 20th of September, 2010.

I'm not really sure if I feel happy or even excited because I'm the kind of person who doesn't appreciate his own birthday (well somehow). But hey, I do appreciate those people around me who greets me "Happy Birthday!" and some even give gifts on my "special" day (riiight!).

Every year, I know it's normal for people to add one year of their lives through their birthdays, but in my case, it somehow gives me a bit of depression because I do think that being a year older means being more responsible in my every action. I can't be a kid anymore (and it breaks my heart!). LOL!

As my birthday approaches, every birthday of mine starts to flashback (like it'll be my last day on earth. LOL!), and I can't believe how time flew so fast. I can't believe that I'm in a state where I have to embrace the world of adults! Being a birthday boy way back, I remember my parents throwing me a small party at home, which I did look forward to. I remember my friends getting all dressed up and visiting my kiddie party, completed with kiddie tables and chairs, balloons, gifts, games, and food of course! Being a kid, I always felt really excited on celebrating my birthday, but as I grow up, I come to a realization that it may not be fun anymore. LOL!

(This was my 2nd birthday. I know I look like a girl,
but believe me, it's me. LOL!)


(This was my 5th birthday. See how big my smile was!--FAKE! LOL!)

You know what bothers me?

The fact that I'll look older. When you're old, people will expect something big, something grand, and something big (again) from you! They will expect you to act your age, to become more mature, even if you don't feel it! And also, you get to develop zits, wrinkles, eye bags, and all those imperfections you acquire as a growing person--PARANOID! (SIGH!)

Oh well, in two days, I'll be a year older. It is inevitable, and I just have to learn to accept it. By the way, don't get me wrong people. I'm not against of being old (it's kind of abnormal and insane, I know!), I'm just being sentimental for the fact that I'm turning 19!!! Sure I'm gonna miss my childhood to teenage days.

After this year, I'll be 20! (YIKES!) It only means that I really am not a kid anymore--that I have to act professional and be more serious. Being in that age range for me, means to struggle hard--get a job, earn lotsa' money, be stable, and start a family?! (GULP! 0_o)

SIGH. Happy Birthday to me! (or is it a happy one?) LOL!